barriomulas.com - The Three Levels of Bueaucratic Evasion

Yesterday evening at the Economic Assistance Office at my University:

Me: "Hello. I'm curious to know if you guys have any economic assistance available for the June courses."
Woman: "No. We just ran out. But I recommend that you come tomorrow since we always have students who cancel courses last minute. Come early."

This morning via telephone (since I was working "early"):

<<After hearing the phone ring for about 5 minutes (I put it on speaker and do my thing)>>
Man: "Hello?"
Me: "Is this the Economic Assistance Office?"
Man: "No. This is the Admissions Office?"
Me: "Oh. Well I dialed the Economic Assistance extension. Is there any way you can transfer me to them?"
Man: <<click>>
<<After about 5 more minutes I had to hang up to attend an issue>>

Ten minutes later:

<<After 5 minutes of ringing>>
Slurry man: "Gkhello?"
Me: "Yes. Is this the Economic Assistance Office?"
Man: "No. Thish ish the Managhement and Regisghtration Office"
Me: "Well I keep dialing the Economic Assistance Office and it rings and rings until someone from aonther office picks up."
Man: "Well, gkhow can I help you?"
Me: "Well, yesterday I went to the Economic Assistance Office in search of economic assistance my June courses but was told that all the assistance had already been given out. I was told to check back today just in case some students canceled their courses last minute."
Man: "Shhure. Just let me jot down your social security, name, and pghone number and I'll call you back."

<<After never receiving a call and numerous unsuccessful attempts at getting thourh on the phone I decide to visit the Economic Assistance Office in person after work>>

Me: <explains story to a fat gay black man behind the counter>
Fat gay black man: "Sorry buddy. There is no assistance left."
Me: "Is there any chance that some might arrise during the day?"
Fatty: "No"

<<I decide to step outside the office and call the Slurry man to see why he never called me back. After having to ask a secretary in another office for Slurry man's extension I finally got through>>

Me: <explains story to slurry man, in hopes that he will remember me> "I never received a call back>
Man: "Oh yea. I remember. We called your house and left a message about how much you owe."
Me: "But that's not what I wanted to know. I wanted to know if there was any assistance left."
Man: "Oh yea, that's right. Um. No. There's no assistance left. It's all used up."
Me: "Did any students cancel last minute?"
Man: "Oh yea. They did."
Me: "So there *was* assistance, but it was gobbled up quickly, right?"
Man: "Yes."
Me: "Well. When I called in the morning... was there assistance available?"
Man: "Umm" (obviously knowing where I'm going, as I insinuate that due to his slack I missed my chances for economic assistance.) "Umm.. hold on". <<2 minutes later>> "Ok. Yea. There's only $45 left for economic assistance."
Me: "Well. Where do I get it?"
Man: "At the Economic Assistance Office."
Me: <<click>>

I step back into the office and this time avoid fatty gay guy and instead opt to wait for the same woman who tended to me yesterday.

Me: <explains all of the above> "I'm pretty much confused because you told me that there was going to be assistance, that fat gay guy over there told me that there was no funds left, and that guy in the Management Office told me there were $45.
Woman: <<steps into an office and talks with who appears to be a superior, returns to her computer, and types in a few numbers.>> "Ok. Your all set. I just credited $365 to your account."

Fucking amazing. I'm still trying to break all of this down and process it. It's as if our bureaucracies are stuffed with money but the tree must be shaken in order for fruit to fall. After evaluating the situation I've established the following inter-personal hurdles that are set up in Puerto Rican - and Latin American - bureaucratic organizations. As Director of a government agency I have seen these practices first hand:

1) Upon your first request for information you are simply told to come back later or talk to somebody else. This is an attempt to "shake you off" in hopes that you will never come back. Interestingly enough, most Puerto Ricans don't return. "Forget that!" they think to themselves as they continue along their way.

2) If you return, they will simply deny you the information. Funds are gone, the information does not exist, or there is no way your going to get it. This is another attempt to shake you off. No in-debt effort is invested to tend to your need and a superficial assessment of needs will come up negative in order to get rid of you. By coming back you are "annoying" and should be denied the request.

3) By coming back a third time, you have finally established that you will continue to pester them until they serve your need. By doing so they finally come to the conclusion that helping you will get rid of you. They give you what you need and hope to never see you again.